kilrhadi

Whew! Today is the greatest Day I ve ever kown Cant live for tomorrow Tomorrows much too long I burn my eyes out Before I get out I wanted more Than life could ever grant Bored by the chore Of saving face
! This song is the most memorable song ever for me. I remember my gf and I has our first overnight in an internet cafe listening to music video at utube we’re just starting our relationship at those moments.  We watch video’s of filter, vision of disorder, deftones etc… Then suddenly we thought of browsing smashing pumpkins and Today was in our mind… If you guys watch the video there are several kissing scene and there was one love scene… As my skin touches my gf and as we’re watching the music video we just spark! Damn we’re in a cafe! I am not gonna continue… i know she remembered what happened next at amiejay.

Now as i am listening to this song I remember every second at those moment.  Pink ribbon scars That never forget Ive tried so hardTo cleanse these regrets My angel wings Were bruised and restrained My belly stings.

Today is
Today is
Today is
The greatest day
That I have ever known

I want to turn you on
I want to turn you round
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you

I miss her.. i hope i can improve my present situation so i can be close to her again and i hope she will stay strong in our relationship despite of her trials and she and her family could overcome her trials… I’ll just be here if you need me.

I love this movie! I viewed this movie more than a dozen of times. And I will watch it over again if possible.  I am so inspired of the creativeness of the writer. Finding love in a most strange place is so hard but in this movie it shows that it is possible.  Just like I had experience, I found love in the most strangest place. By chatting in IRC I met a girl who lift me up from the darkness and showed me light.  She gave a meaning to my life a life that was almost wasted. I made a lot of mistakes in the past and until now I am still paying the consequences of my actions. You guys know how it feels to be in-love and being greatful that she came into your life.  I am, I am greatful she came into my life. If she didn’t I don’t know if i’ll have that courage to stand and face reality. 

She was right I am still singing this song in my heart and I will always sing this song until the end of my time.  Why so? because I owe her my life.  I cannot repay her the one thing she gave me and that is LOVE.  So I beg her to give her what she had given me the true meaning of LOVE.  I left behind a possible better life and I ended up suffering, imprisoned, unable to do or improve our relationship because of my current stage of living.

If it is security in life she is looking for then I will let her go but I know all she need is LOVE that’s why I am holding on because I know no man can love her more than I do.  I’ll endure this suffering even she’ll grow colder and colder everyday.  I’ll stop my tears from falling because I am hoping for something to good come btw, crying doesn’t mean you are not man it means you are man enough to accept the pain.

Despite of everything I am into right now.  I will still sing Your Song.  Because how wonderful life was/is/will be when you came to my world. 

Thank you for loving me.

For almost 3 years I was living in total darkness because of two consecutive pains in 2 of my relationship.  I created my own prison! I isolated myself from people who care for me including my family and friends.  I only had like 3 friends left in all those times and my passion for computer gaming was my girlfriend.  Those time I careless about my health, relationship with my family/friends, and my future.  I allowed time to just pass by and I missed a lot of opportunities in life.  I don’t care what people say about me actually I don’t care about life itself!

I met Marie Angeli S. Gacayan.  Before she came into my life I told myself that if ever I’ll learn to love again it will be my last.  So she came. I was at my lowest state of being.  I have no self-esteem because of my looks, goodness! at those days I look like a drug addict in the eyes of many but it doesn’t matter for her.  I was shocked! So I asked myself does she sees my potentials? Why does she care about me? Why does she made me feel important? As days come I get to know more of her and suddenly my eyes were opened to the reality that I am still alive. Do you know that feeling of falling in-love?  That was the exact feeling I felt for her.  As we often meet because we are already establishing foundations in our relationship.  I saw the pain she carries with her.  Her past haunts her as it does on me.  She carries with her great detestation, fury, retribution, sorrows, disappointments, discouragements and depressions.  I swear I succeeded to take some of them away when I spend most of my time and effort to bring out the best in her. With limited resources I tried and tried to give what she needs to make her happy although I still failed in many ways to provide in all aspect of her needs. 

All my efforts to make her happy to let her forget of the pain of the past are wasted because she once again experience far more greater pain when she lost her beloved brother and the annulment of her parents’ marriage.  And I? I am back to the darkness.  My current situation isolated me from her! Though I care and love her so much. As much as I want I just cannot bail myself from this prison I am into right now.  Which makes her feel cold and now she thinks that our relationship is going nowhere.  I just hope she will wait until my sentence runs out.  And if ever I’ll lose her at least she will give unto me her pain.  This song is for her from Evanescence entitled Give Unto Me.

I’ve been watching you from a distance
The distance sees through your disguise
All I want from you is your hurting
I want to heal you
I want to save you from the dark

Give unto me your troubles
I’ll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I’ll drink your deadly poison

Why should I care if they hurt you
Somehow it matters more to me
Than if I were hurting myself
Save you (save you)
I’ll save you

Give unto me your troubles
I’ll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I’ll drink your deadly poison

Fear not the flame of my love’s candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
Give unto me all that frightens you
I’ll have your nightmares for you
If you sleep soundly

Give unto me your troubles
I’ll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I’ll drink your deadly poison

Fear not the flame of my love’s candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
Give unto me all that frightens you
I’ll have your nightmares for you
If you sleep soundly

Fear not the flame of my love’s candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness